30 March 2020
I know most people think that the days blend together when working from home. Not me, that weekend was too short to get everything done.
The alarm went off at 07:00 this morning, I did not want to roll out of bed. I fell asleep listening to Deepak Chopra on the Recode Decode podcast. actually I was listening while working on the weblog last night, Scott woke me up. I really need a three day weekend to catch up on writing, gardening and cooking. The bright side is that I have more time for cooking during the day.
This was the last full day on our project. Tomorrow we are tying up ends and presenting the final sprint to our absent landlords. Come Wednesday most of us are on the bench. The bright side is that we are a bootstrapped organization. I have always believed that building an organization is harder than buying one. I have been with a couple of companies that have tried to expand by merger. The culture is critical, nobody wants to work for Sogeti.
Our scrum master resigned today. That really hit me hard. He is a great leader. He really understands people and how to get them to go in the same direction. I have spent many a weekend at Boy Scout leadership conferences that really be summed up as "be like this person". I do not disagree with his decision, he is a recent employee, although I have no idea how we would reduce headcount, he is making a prudent decision. I would really like to work with him again.
I will address how I deal with my fear of Covid-19 later. Really it comes down to how I live with change. Once I learned to sit with the terror of change, to just let it wash into me, and feel it, then I can deal with the fear. My anxiety is directed towards protecting my children from the virus. They want to order food, I only permit it once a week. I go out to the grocery each week, I actually enjoy this, it is not a hunt, but the frame is similar. I will hunt again this autumn, I miss the uncertainty.
I continue to emphasize exercise in my daily routine. I know that most of my anxiety is held in my neck and legs. Finding a good massage therapist helped, I wish I had found her earlier in my life. The moral is that we are not independent, we need all of the others to get through life. I know it is hard for everyone, we each need to give what we can to anyone that needs our talents. Moving helps me release my pain, and it helps me find others that also need to find a release.
Ubuntu, which I do not understand in a visceral sense, because the language and sounds are not my own. It has been explained to me since the Linux distribution was released, but it seems this is the translation that it converges onto, that finds my passion. I Am because We Are, that totally resonates with me. I cannot draw passion from things that I do not care about. I see more money, but I do not care about their aims.
I have started a series on my personal challenges. I will publish this in June. If I do not survive that long I hope that one of my survivors will. I have shared the passwords, hopefully I have also supplied the documentation on how to publish this site.